“ There are eight
million stories in the naked city, and tonight you have seen one of them.”
This was how the popular detective show, The
Naked City, ended every episode
in the 1950’s and early 1960’s.
Therapists know that every man has a story, and that if you listen
carefully to that story, a profound experience of empathic understanding can
unfold.
A person’s story emanates from familial, cultural, societal,
and genetic influences. Like a snowflake everyone’s story is different, even
for people raised in similar circumstances. In our fast paced society, people
often don’t take the time or have the patience to listen to others.
How often have you had someone ask you a question, only to
then carry on about his or her experience? This is a common occurrence. One
result is that people don’t learn about each other. They listen to themselves
talk over and over. Here are some things to try to improve communication and to
learn more about others and thus the world.
1.
Listen without talking to a friend. Instead of responding,
ask a question about the topic at hand. Then ask another question.
2.
Even if you don’t agree with the point being
made, don’t jump in with an opinion. Listen and try to fully understand the
other person’s point. There will be time for talking later.
3.
People talk most freely, when they feel safe and
received without judgment. Asking
relevant questions communicates to the speaker that you are listening and
interested. This kind of engagement can lead to creative, productive
discussion.
In the United States people can easily be sidetracked from
authentic interpersonal engagement by the seduction of materialism, money, and
status. If you find yourself under stimulated or bored in the company of
others, remember the words in The Naked
City.
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