Molly's Game

I saw Molly's Game the other night at the La Jolla 12.  It is not a good endorsement of a movie, I suppose, when you keep wondering when it is going to end. Though the story is interesting, I found the movie to be tedious and drawn out.  The film tells the story of a real person's journey from ski champion to high stakes gambling promoter. I was actually more interested in Molly's brother Jeremy, who was a champion mogul skier and later an NFL football player. His character appears briefly in the film.

The film tries to present Molly as a naïve person with integrity, but I couldn't get behind that view. I had recently seen The Darkest Hour about Winston Churchill's valiant effort to rally his fellow politicians around the cause of resistance. That was like going to a 5-star restaurant. Molly's Game was a quick stop at Burger King.

The Darkest Hour

Gary Oldman, Kristen Scott Thomas, Lily James, and the rest of the cast of the Darkest Hour manage to expertly channel some of the most important moments of World War II into a story of intrigue, courage, and decision-making. Flawed and difficult, Winston Churchill showed great leadership while under enormous pressure from those around him. Seeing the movie is like reading an interesting history book that one can't put down.

The Shape of Water

We saw The Shape of Water the other night. The movie had received good press, but I wasn't thrilled about seeing it. I walked into Cineopolis in Del Mar thinking I might get a good nap in one of the theatre's luxury seats.

Within a short time, I was surprised when I become engrossed in this allegory of love, connection, and compassion. In this age of hate mongering, prejudice, and intolerance, the movie is a refreshing reminder of what is important.

Sallie Hawkins is outstanding in her role as a mute woman. The rest of the cast is also excellent. The movie is creative and worth seeing.

Breakfast Men

Four of them came through the door with John Deere and Big Cat embroidered on their ball caps. Others with similar headgear and flannel shirts were already seated, drinking hot cups of Joe and eating heaping portions of bacon, eggs, and toast.

Though they are harder to find than they used to be, these cafes can still be seen spread out across America's west. The men who frequent these spots are on their way to work, and that they ease into their day with coffee and eggs, idle chatter, and spunky waitresses. The men almost always have a weathered look from years of working hard, physical, outdoor jobs.

In the old days after breakfast, the guys smoked unfiltered cigarettes and spoke in low tones about jobs and bosses.  The topic of machinery came up, as did upcoming weekend hunting and fishing trips. The cafes had a rhythm to them that was similar from place to place.

I thought of these places I had seen today when I had breakfast in Pacifica Breeze in Del Mar. There were no men in Caterpillar hats, but some guys had straw on. Muffins and croissants had replaced bacon and eggs, and I saw one regular drinking a glass of prosecco. The young servers were polite and deferential, unlike the cafe women who were loud and confrontational.

There were quite a few dogs at Breeze, and I can't say I ever saw a dog in a Western Cafe. If one of the heavy machinery guys had a dog with him, he left it in the rear of his pick up.

As I began my walk up the hill towards my house a mile and a half away, I thought about those cafes in Colorado, Montana, and New Mexico, and I swear I heard the sound of bacon crackling on a grill.

Staying Sane in a Crazy World

How does one cope with multiple fires, floods, earthquakes, and hurricanes? Those are only the natural disasters! Many countries are warring with each other; the political situation in our country is volatile and unpredictable. Add to this one's day-to-day problems in career management, child rising, and finances, and you have a formula for stress, anxiety, and depression.

Each of us only has limited power to make a change on large levels, but we can manage our stress levels. Through thoughtful planning, we can minimize toxicity and contamination. Here are some ideas for coping and enjoying life in these times.

1.  Limit your news watching. Too much negative information will become a prism through which you see the world.
2.  Control your life. Establish routines and predictable ways of functioning. Manage your money well. Get professional counsel.
3.  Cultivate good friends. Laughter and fun are good antidotes to stress.
4. Eat well and make good food a priority.
5.  Work at your hobby, be it a sport or craft. Enjoy a sense of accomplishment.
6.  Stay healthy. Work out, walk, and be outdoors. See you doctor and dentist for regular check-ups.
7.  Think through what matters to you and spend your time, energy, and money in those areas.
8.  Don't let problems fester. See professionals when necessary. Consult a physical therapist, an attorney, a financial planner, or a psychologist when you need to. Procrastination creates more stress.
9.  Pilates, yoga, and meditation have been soothing for many. In our fast-paced world, they can help you slow down and become reacquainted with yourself.
10.  Spend time appreciating beauty whether it is expressed through art, music, or nature.

3 Billboards

“My daughter Angela was murdered 7 months ago, it seems to me the police department is too busy torturing black folk to solve actual crimes. “

This quote from actress Francis McDormand sets the stage for the powerful movie, 3 Billboards. Themes of loss, vengeance, prejudice, and guilt are played out through a number of actors who give fine performances. Francis McDormand is sure to get an Academy nomination. Woody Harrelson is superb. This is a gritty movie that psychologists will love. It is a must see.

Pasta and the Big Dig

The Milford Track in New Zealand is one of the great treks in the world as is the hike to Everest Base camp. The Haute Route from Chamonix to Zermatt has a well-earned reputation for toughness, scenery, and alpine history. Those who have hiked up the Baltoro Glacier in Pakistan to view K-2, the earth’s second highest mountain, often claim personal transformation.

Boston, Massachusetts doesn’t have any mountains, but there is a walk there that is worth knowing about. I have done this urban trek several times, and I guarantee it for adventure, great food, good exercise, and exquisite shopping.


The fall, when the air is crisp and winter beckons, is the best time to go, as Boston can be hot and humid in the summer. Wearing good walking shoes, go to Charles Street and cruise the antique shops. Drink cappuccino at one of the tasteful bistros that line this historic way. Head north up Beacon Hill through Louisburg Square and see the incredible homes there. You’ll wind around the back of the Capitol Building and begin your descent towards Faneuil Hall and the Quincy Market area. Absolutely resist the temptation to eat at the wonderful food courts there and cover your eyes when you pass Durgin and Park, a restaurant, which is an institution in a city of fine eateries.

Find The Old Union Oyster House for your first major stop. The convention there is to have a half dozen raw oysters or perhaps a cup of fresh clam chowder if raw shellfish isn’t to your liking. Bass Ale is the perfect company for the fish or chowder. After an
appropriate rest, it’s time to walk again.


The results of the Big Dig will now appear. This was the biggest urban construction project ever carried out in this country. Many years in the making, the dig rerouted highways above and below ground. Soon you will view the Mecca for many, Boston’s North End. More Italian than Milan, the North End is teeming with life. Smells of olives and salami permeate the air, and old ladies in black dresses walk slowly, greeting their neighbors with warm smiles. Young men stand at the street corners and speak loudly in Italian and broken English. One of Boston’s finest drives by in a patrol car. Boomers from Wellesley and Concord make themselves too present. Bocce ball games are in progress.

You now will need to focus and concentrate. It’s time to find a place for pasta. The last time I was in the North End I was surprised, for many of the mom and pop restaurants that I liked were gone. More fancy, expensive restaurants have replaced them. At first, this doesn’t sound so good, until one realizes that these restaurants are really excellent.

After pasta one moves to a bakery for espresso and Italian pastries. Find an eatery with a street view and enjoy the continuing dramas that unfold outside. Then it’s time for some serious walking to burn off the calories so deliciously gained within the last few blocks. I would recommend a lengthy trek uphill to the Boston Gardens, scenically adorned with ponds and boats that are carved in the shape of swans. Go west to Newbury Street, a tasteful version of Rodeo Drive. There’s a Patagonia store there. You don’t really need a lot of mountain gear in Boston, but I usually find a way to rationalize the need for a new piece of clothing. From there satisfied trekkers will head east and then north back to Charles Street.


The whole walk covers about eight miles and should take much of the day if you do it right. No, it’s not the route to K-2, and there are no 8,000-meter peaks on the
trail, but then you can’t find calamari and pasta Pescatore at Everest base camp.

Holidays; Do they make us Happy?

We are supposed to be happy over the holidays.  After all, Santa is jovial, bright colors are everywhere, gifts are being exchanged, and Christmas and New Year’s parties are omnipresent. People say, “Merry Christmas” and “Happy New Year”, not “Depressed New Year”. Even Scrooge comes around in the end. So why is it that so many adults have trouble getting through the holidays without feeling down, depressed, sad, and lonely?

Part of the problem is that adults are the administrators of Christmas and not the beneficiaries as they were in their childhoods. Past a certain age, Christmas can never be the same again for many people. The wonder of waking up to presents, a beautiful tree, and a warm fire (if you live in New England!) is now replaced by frantically shopping for preferred gifts, paying bills, and trying to juggle work with holiday obligations.  Thoughts back to an idealized time can bring the experience of painful nostalgia accompanied by sadness and loneliness.

The New Year in some ways brings the promise of better things to come, but it also conjures up feeling about past failed expectations and disappointments. It also highlights the passage of time and the brevity of life.  Alcohol at such times becomes a celebratory lubricant in addition to one that attempts to bypass sorrows.

Here are some tips to help with managing the holidays.

1. Don’t expect too much.
2. Try to figure out what you want and not what the marketers tell you to want. It is OK to stay home on New Year’s Eve and go to bed at 10:00 P.M.
3. Go easy on the alcohol.
4. You don’t have to spend a lot of money.
5. Keep working out.
6. Establish traditions with your own family and group of friends.
7. Remember those who have gone.
8. Setting goals for the new year is a good idea, but they need to be realistic. Set them at three-month intervals at which times they can be reviewed and revised.
9. Be kind and generous to others. It is the holiday spirit that is important.