Location!!!

Everyone has their own travel style which includes where to stay. Some like hotels, others prefer AirB& B and some prefer renting an apartment. Wherever you stay, location for many is an important variable. If you want to take cabs and trains or walk long distances, that is fine. I prefer to choose a location which is near the areas I will be visiting. For me, that is the most important consideration.

Once in Rome, we stayed in a beautiful hotel, but it was a long way from the city center. The last time there we booked a less glamorous hotel but one that was more centrally located. This worked out well. The advantages of a centrally located place to stay are numerous. Here are a few.

1.  You can walk around and easily come back to your hotel to rest. You can then go out again. In Venice the heat can be oppressive, so often we cruise areas and return to our hotel to absorb some air conditioning before heading out again.
2.  Most hotels in a central location are surrounded by restaurants, so you don't have to take a cab or look forward to a long walk in the evening.
3.  There is less of a safety concern when hotels are located in popular areas.

Stories

Stories from the Road
Bellingham, WA
October 2, 2017


Fall has come to this city on the banks of Puget Sound. Allegiant Air was our carrier from San Diego. The bare-bones airline flies twice a week directly to and from the small airport outside Bellingham. Our plane looked like it had seen better days, but it got us there safely. The airline looks like a bargain, but it charges for everything, I was surprised there wasn’t an oxygen tariff.

At the airport in San Diego, there were several police operations taking place. One woman was led away in handcuffs, and a group of three talked with police for about an hour. Finally, the authorities searched their bags. I was curious what was going on.

This morning we saw Lucas our nephews' new house in Bellingham. Later we walked through a running creek in a nearby park. At higher water levels local kayakers run the creek, which looked like class 4 with some class 5 drops, Between the mountains, rivers, and oceans, there are terrific outdoor resources in the area.

In the San Diego airport, I talked with some people from Poland, who were now living in Vancouver..Vicki and I had visited their country on a hiking trip, and we had a good time comparing noted. The family minus mom had cruised to San Diego and then vacationed there for a few days. The middle school-aged


boy was using a skateboard and carry a bogey board. I told his father he was a California kid now.

Is Your Child Depressed?

How do you know if your teenager is having bad times? The teen years are difficult as kids try to transition from being a protected child to a more autonomous young adult. The process is painful for many! Some young people become depressed in the process, need help, but don’t have the inner recourses to reach out.

Too often parents don’t read the signs of depression well or don’t want to admit to themselves that there is a problem within their family. The teenage suicide rate is high, so this isn’t a subject to take lightly!

Here are some signs that your child may be having difficulty.

1.    A withdrawal from friends and usual activities.

2.    A drop in grades.

3.    An increase in sleep.

4.    An irritable mood.

5.    A preoccupation with death.

6.    A lack of mirth.

7.    Signs of drug and alcohol abuse.

The worst thing parents can do is to do nothing. Often a young person will make it difficult for parents to intervene. The young person wants help, but then he or she doesn’t! After all, a young person is trying to be independent, and “help” may stimulate strong dependent needs for the adolescent. These feelings may be hard to acknowledge.

What should parents do? Here are some ideas:

1.    Talk with your teen and point out what you see.

2.    Consider having a meeting with school people with your teen.

3.    Offer a mental health evaluation or insist on it if necessary. Be willing to be part of the evaluation.

4.    Look at your self critically. Have you been remiss as a parent?

5.    Have a family meeting and let people express what they see and feel.

Here are some ways to find a mental health provider.

1.    Get a referral from your pediatrician.

2.    Get a referral from your child’s school.

3.    Talk with friends who may have leads.

4.    Call your local psychological association.

Often teenage depression is symptomatic of a larger family problem. By facing the problem a teenager and his or her family may become happier and more productive. A little help can go a long way!

Effective Communication in the Electronic Age

Most people would agree that communication is important. The ability of people to understand each other is fundamental to many human endeavors from diplomacy to romantic relationships. The most effective communication is face to face where participants can make use of many cues. In addition to words, body language and tone of voice can be important.



In the electronic age, social media and email rely often on words. It is important to be direct and neutral most of the time since it is easy to be misunderstood. One has to be careful with humor and sarcasm as the recipient may misinterpret what the sender is trying to say.

When making comments on media like Facebook, one needs to be prepared for the worst from emboldened, anonymous writers. Initially, on Facebook, I made some flip comments only to be attacked in print by strangers. Some people might not mind this and actually see it as a sport, but I didn't like it. I have learned to make comments in rational, neutral ways without being disrespectful of the people I am responding to. If people attack my post, I don't take the bait but continue on in a rational position. This approach seems to work for me.


People should treat email like a phone call. If I have an email address, I feel obligated to answer emails with the exception of scams and commercial offers. A non-answer to a personal email is an answer! The problem is that the sender is left to create his own theory as to why his receiver hasn't responded. The filling in of the blanks can be destructive.

In a larger context, it is why diplomacy is so important. Nations may not resolve issues, but their representatives can send overt and covert messages back and forth signaling intentions and positions. Without diplomacy, countries will fill in the blanks! North Korea, which has made the United States a bogeyman, is a good example of what happens when communication breaks down.

Movie review

A Movie to See

Yesterday we saw Marshall, a story of one of young Thurgood Marshall’s early cases representing the NAACP. This true story takes place in a wealthy suburb of Connecticut, where prejudice is rampant. The biased judge won’t allow Mr. Marshall to try the case because he is not a bar member in Connecticut. Mr. Marshall recruits a local attorney with little experience trying criminal cases, and the story unfolds. A white woman claims her black chauffeur raped her, and the Marshall team provides his defense.

Thurgood Marshall went on to be the first African American Supreme Court Justice, one can see why this brilliant, tough, determined man was chosen. The movie is well acted, absorbing, and particularly relevant in these times.

Movie: Finding Vincent

Finding Vincent: The search may not be worth it



A number of artists spend some years painting like Van Gough to create the first oil painting animated film. I found the film to be creative and visually stunning, but at the same time slow and tedious. For some art buffs, this film may be a must-see, though I would not put myself in that category.

The film is playing for one week at the Ken Theatre, which isn’t the most comfortable place to see a movie.

Movie

Professor Marston and the Wonder Women

Last night I was pleasantly surprised, when I saw the movie Professor Marston and the Wonder Women. This is a complex story about a Harvard Psychology professor in the early 40’s who is brilliant but unconventional. He loves his wife and falls in love with a beautiful student. The story goes from there twisting and turning in interesting ways. The movie wouldn’t have worked without the fine casting and performances by the three lead actors.

Book

A Single Spy
By William Christie

I recently finished reading A Single Spy, a lively, interesting book by William Christie. Upon finishing it, I immediately went to the Amazon website and downloaded two more of his books. The book chronicles the story of a man forced to become a spy for two different countries during the Second World War. The author has an excellent sense of humor, and the main character’s utterances provide comic relief in the grimmest of circumstances

Stories

Stories from the Road October 31, 2012


Last night we ate at Il Cortile, an excellent Italian restaurant in Paso Robles. I had pasta with veal and tiramisu for desert. Fred again ordered a tasty local wine.  Our waiter was a young man who had lived all over the west. He was efficient and provided good service.

Today we drive an hour to visit Hearst Castle. The structure took 28 years to build, and the main architect was Julia Morgan, who worked closely with William Randolph Hearst. It was highly unusual to employ a female architect in those days, particularly on a project the scope of Hearst Castle. The place is so big that you can only see part of it on a tour. We’ll be viewing the upstairs rooms. On the grounds zebra and elk roam freely. Part of the Hearst collection of animals, the animals can easily be seen from the Castle parking lot or Highway 1.

Hearst Castle was interesting as were the stories around it. William Randolph Hearst lived on a grand scale. A trip to Europe as a child influenced his vision of the kind of structure he wanted to build and decorate. After it was built he left his wife and lived with movie star Marian Davies, whom he stayed with for thirty years but never married. He entertained lavishly with hordes of Hollywood stars like Clark Gable and Gary Grant descending up his home for days at a time.  After his death, none of his family wanted to keep the estate going, so it donated it to the state of California. Now the Castle hosts 500,000 guests a year at the price of $25.00 per person.

After our tour and lunch in Cambria, we stopped at the Epoch Winery outside of Paso Robles. The people working in the tasting room were most friendly and knowledgeable. The man had just moved to the area, quitting his stockbroker job in search of more meaning. The marketing director was an intelligent, articulate young woman, who recently graduated from a program at Harvard University.

Have a good Halloween evening.

October Days: 1954

I remember it as if it were yesterday. The smell of the grass, the sound of crunching leather, and autumn colors all come back without much effort. That football season I was a sixth former at Fay and the quarterback of the football team. We had a good team for one reason really. His name was Bobby Gray. A quiet unassuming person from a prominent North Carolina family, Bobby didn’t look like a football star, but he was in every way.

I remember with some pleasure the sequence of plays I liked to call. I first would send Bobby into the line to pick up a few yards. The other team was possibly beginning to feel some confidence at that point, since that play never worked too well.  Then I would call t-3 on three, Bobby’s bread and butter play. He didn’t look like he was running that fast as he swept right end, but no one ever seemed to catch him. When they did, he often knocked them to one side, as he continued running toward the goal line.

In the middle of the season Bobby hurt his back, but he kept playing. I knew he was in great pain often, but he would shrug it off and run around end time after time for long yardage. As the season wore on, I began to look at Bobby differently. He wasn’t just a great football player. He was a heroic person. I didn’t realize then that we all were brave in our own ways. You couldn’t get through the first thirteen years of life without overcoming fear and doing new, hard things.

The next year we went onto St. Mark’s and Bobby’s football days were pretty much over due to his back problem. He did kick extra points for the varsity in his third form year, an unusual accomplishment that spoke of his courage and poise. As the years wore on there were other Bobby Grays in my life both personally and publicly. John F. Kennedy, Martin Luther King, Archibald Cox, and the boy I taught to dive at Brantwood Camp, all exemplified courage. Eventually I realized that heroism was a relative concept. A non-reading adult trying to learn to read was heroic. A shy boy going to a dance, a sensitive person giving a speech; the list was endless. Football could bring clarity to the subject, but it was only one playing field amongst many.

As I look back on those days, I think of Bobby and all he gave to our team. At times I can almost smell burning leaves and hear the sound of the crowd as Bobby Gray sweeps end one more time and heads for the goal line.