Stories from Lockdown

March 30, 2020

Del Mar, CA

 

 

 

Yesterday was a better day. I learned about zoom and connected with local and East Coast friends. Steve Valle on Cape Cod showed me his newly renovated home. Great fun. Bert Edelstein and Karen Helrich with great humor described their safety measures. It brightened up my day.

 

Earlier I had gone to practice my short game. A man stopped to chat from twenty feet and told me I could practice at the Surf Soccer fields a couple of miles away. I checked it out, but the fences around the fields were locked up. 

 

Months ago, Shelia Sharpe, a local psychologist friend, asked Vicki and me if we would give a talk to a group of Del Mar people about our trip to Pakistan in 1996. We agreed and a few weeks ago we made our presentation to thirty people in the home of a local resident. Many stories came out of that month-long excursion to the basecamp of K-2, and tomorrow I will write about some.

 

Tony Spell, the pastor of the Life Tabernacle Church in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, has been conducting services and encouraging parishioners to attend. He sends buses to pick up some members of his congregation. Recently more than 1200 people came to services.  This is how he described his decision:

 

 “This is the America we’re living in now, where people are being persecuted for their faith,” Spell said as he took the singer’s hand.”

 

A psychologist might say that the pastor’s problems with authority are putting at risk the well-being of many.

 

 

 

 

Stories from lockdown

Del Mar, CA

April 8, 2020

 

 

The Captain Crozier saga continues to unfold. My hope is that a thorough investigation will reveal who is responsible for what. Questions to be answered in my mind are:

 

How prepared was the Navy for a pandemic?

Why was the carrier sent to Vietnam?

What was the response to Captain Crozier’s initial requests for help?

Why was there not a more thorough investigation before Captain Crozier was relieved of his command?

Why did the Secretary of the Navy feel he had to immediately fly to Guam to disparage Captain Crozier and make his case? 

Why did Captain Crozier write his letter without exhausting all channels of communication to his superiors?

 

Twin Mountain, NH (continued): A few years ago, Vicki  and I visited my brother and his wife in Hancock, New Hampshire before driving two hours north to the White Mountains. We pulled off Highway 302 in Twin Mountain to view our old house. A woman saw us and walked across the street to our car. I told her our history with the town and the home, and, of course, she was Sharon’s cousin. She told us where Sharon lived, and the next day we found the house.

 

 

Sharon knew we were coming. In small New England towns, news travels with speed! We approached her hilltop house and knocked at the door. An aged woman appeared, and it was Sharon. Though many years younger than Vicki and I, she looked older. She lived with her adult daughter, who worked at a nearby hotel, and her unemployed son-in-law. 

 

I asked about her family while gazing at her cluttered home. Brenda and Larry had died of cancer. Ray had disappeared in Littleton, ten miles away, where he spent his time alone. Lorraine and Michael, like Sharon were on disability and lived close by.

 

So how do people of promise end up dying young or on disability? It is a complex issue but certainly life in rural, northern New Hampshire is not easy. The winters are cold and long. Work is scarce and opportunities few. As I drove away from Sharon’s home, I tried to make sense of it. 

Stories from lockdown

March 24,2020

Del Mar, CA

 

It is a sunny day in Southern California, but the city of San Diego remains a ghost town. Parks and beaches are closed, malls are asleep, and the sound of clinking glasses in local bars has long gone.

 

Yesterday we attended senior hours at Ralphs, our go-to grocery store in Del Mar. There was a line of “young people” waiting to get in at 8;00 AM, but at 7:30 the old folks had the run of the store. I walked to the designated entrance and almost immediately a beefy employee started yelling at me. I finally figured how what he was saying and complied. Then he yelled again, telling me to get 6 feet from a person. Mistake. Golfers know zero to ten feet like the back of our hands. I told him ,” no, I was at 6 feet.” He went silent.

 

Our tip through the aisles was surreal. Usually, Ralphs is a happy place with people buying goodies they anticipate devouring with relish! Not so yesterday. The place had a zombie feel with masked seniors warily walking around the store. In wartime, people bond against a common, visible enemy. Now one’s fellow citizens have to be treated as the enemy. Very weird! 

 

At the checkout line, the cash register lady was crying. Since her work station was adjacent to the beefy bully, I assumed he had been at it again, but I may have been wrong. We smiled and were nice to her, but she remained upset. 

 

The Governor has directed people to stay home as of last week. When the notice came, I stopped playing golf. Most of the courses immediately closed, if they hadn’t before. The course I play on Mondays stayed open. That Sunday the sheriff showed up and closed it down. The place had been packed all weekend. Go figure!

 

 

 

Stories from Lockdown

November 13,2020

Del Mar, Ca.

 

 

He sped down the left side of the rink. The opponents had trouble getting at the puck which was stretched out to his right. Suddenly Jack Phelan, who was later to captain the Dartmouth Hockey team, cut across the center of the ice, fired at the right side of the net, and scored. This set-in motion a major frustration by the best player on the other team. He threw gloves, yelled, and tried to push some of our players around to no avail. 

 

 

This high school player’s tantrum revealed several things about him. First, he needed to learn some self-control and frustration tolerance. Secondly, his behavior seemed to reveal a strong underlying sense of entitlement. Think about it. He must have assumed he should have been winning. This attitude persisted throughout the game, though it should have been obvious to players and fans alike that our team was superior. The lopsided score should have been a tip-off to the disgruntled player.

 

Trump can’t accept defeat. He clearly feels entitled to win. He is too self-focused to look at the data and draw realistic conclusions. He did a poor job, and the voters saw this. Had he taken his job more seriously and applied himself in a serious way, he might have won. Like the hockey player, he felt he should win, even if the other side scored more goals.

 

 It may well be that Trump in his early life didn’t get the care he was entitled to. That dynamic may be playing itself out in his adult life. Most children outgrow their perception that they are the center of the universe and learn that they must earn their “riches”. Has Trump?

 

 

Stories from lockdown

March 25, 2020

Del Mar, CA

 

Yesterday I followed my new routine. I watched Andree Martin, the golf pro at our club, give her webinar at 8:00 AM. Her instruction mirrors that of my golf instructor, professional Clark Renner. Inspired, I later went to a nearby school field and practiced chipping and pitching.

 

The field borders a large state preserve that overlooks the Pacific. Hiking trails wind throughout this area giving walkers excellent views. Over the years I have logged many miles on these trails. Often, I would never see another person on them. In recent years with an increasing local population and an obsession with physical fitness in Sothern California, the trails have become busier. With the gyms and beaches on hold now, hikers are all over the area. 

 

On Nextdoor, the internet site that connects neighborhoods, some people are upset. Calling the recent hikers, “newbies”, these people complain the hikers lack etiquette on the trails amongst other things. I guess it is human nature like squatters’ rights. If you stay somewhere long enough you begin to feel it is yours.

 

This sense of entitlement extends to the ocean. People who grow up in the area become used to better surfing spots. Eventually, they begin to use the word “our” when describing the spots. There have been numerous criminal and civil complaints over the years resulting from locals accosting “invading newbies”. 

 

I have been watching the Netflix series, “Unbelievable.” It is excellent. Kaitlyn Dever as Marie is outstanding as a young woman who finds her way through the foster care system and is being raped once she is on her own. Her portrayal of a trauma victim is educational though disturbing. Merritt Wever is memorable as Detective Karen Duvall.

 

 

 

Stories from Lockdown

December 3, 2020

Del Mar, CA

 

Ball Hawkers

 

 

They are not hard to pick out on the course. Most players, either cluster around the tee box or walk or drive straight to their ball. Not ball hawkers. These men and women are driven to find lost golf balls, which they equate to hidden treasure. Like the people on the beach with metal scanners, a true hawker “must” search. You’ll see them walking along the cart path scanning brush, looking into ponds, and walking through tall rough.

 

Need has nothing to do with the pastime of ball-hawking. I have several hundred left in my garage. At one time I probably had a couple of thousand, but I try to practice “catch and release” by giving away as many balls as I can. 

 

So how did we accumulate so much “treasure”?  My friend, Terry, lived next to a desert golf course and would frequently hunt during off-hours. I took lessons at a small course with a creek running through it. The route to the creek was downhill and difficult. The retirees wouldn’t go down the bank. On a good day, I might find 60 golf balls. 

 

Like any treasure, some items are more valued than others. Titleist Pro V 1 balls, which sell new for $4.00 a piece, are valued, of course. But we all have our favorites, which sometimes defy logic. I like Srixon balls though I couldn’t tell you why other than they have a cool name. Vicki likes yellow balls, which are easy to see. The difference between golf balls is probably minimal, but the marketing men want you to believe otherwise.

 

Is ball-hawking dangerous? It can be. Terry always carried a club to ward off rattlesnakes. I fell in a pond once and numerous times took a spill going down the river bank. Often my clothes would get torn on a mission. 

 

Besides saving money on golf balls, the  Indiana Jones experience is hard to beat. The thrill of finding a shiny new ball can sometimes outweigh the effects of a double bogey!