Designing a Retirement Plan that Works

Retirement presents many challenges. It is an ending but also a beginning. Many are relieved that working life is over: others are anxious about what they will now do. There are some universal issues around retirement, but the process varies from person to person.

All people have to design their retirement plan. For some this is easy but for others not so much. Here are some issues to think about as retirement approaches.

1.  Think hard about what you really like to do. Retirement doesn't work well if you are doing what you think you should do. Sometimes it is not so easy to figure out and may take some trial and error.

2.  Work at retirement. Create structure. Don't waste time.

3.  Try to get good at things. Whether it is cooking, golf, travel, or gardening, study and get better. Being competent makes any endeavor more fun.

4.  If you value relationships, get social. Take the initiative. Time is limited, and you have an opportunity. Don't wait for your phone to ring. Reach out!

5.  Retirement brings freedom. Don't worry about what others think. The canvas is empty. Paint away.

6.  If you want to try new things, do it now. Learn and grow.

7.  Take some time to assess your past life and try to put it in perspective. Acceptance that you did the best you could brings peace and makes it easier to move on. Think of your working life as an athletic contest. The game was played. It is over, and you are free to move on to other endeavors.

8.  Try to stay as healthy as possible. Illness compromises retirement.

9.  As aging makes one activity difficult or impossible, move onto to another activity. If you can't play tennis, play pickle ball. Find things that are fun and do them.

10.  Remember that we can all keep growing and learning. You really can teach old dogs new tricks.

Sunday Morning Coming Down

Here is a nice Sunday morning program for you. Drive downtown at 7:30 on a Sunday morning. Park around 5Th and Island and have breakfast at the beautiful Provisional Restaurant in the Pendry Hotel. It is a designer’s masterpiece, and the food and service are excellent. After breakfast, I would suggest you walk to the waterfront past the new condos, which are springing up in the area. See the cruise ships as you walk along the waterfront and then turn east to walk back to your car. Our walks usually cover about three miles.

Consumer-friendly ski areas

When you think about next winter here are some ideas for your consideration. These areas have lots of grooming and trails suitable for intermediates and black diamond skiers.
1.  Snowmass
2.  Beaver Creek
3.  Steamboat Springs
4.  Deer Valley
5.  Big Sky

The Isle of Dogs

Last night we saw Isle of Dogs at the local Cineopolis. This animated film by Wes Anderson is entertaining and complex. It is not a children's' movie though the title suggests otherwise. The film mixes themes of government corruption, authoritarianism, deportation, extermination, megalomania with those of heroism, science, and compassion. It seems timely.

Wisdom from the Naked City: Improving Communication

“ There are eight million stories in the naked city, and tonight you have seen one of them.”This was how the popular detective show, The NakedCity, ended every episode in the 1950’s and early 1960’s. Therapists know that every man has a story and that if you listen carefully to that story, a profound experience of empathic understanding can unfold.

A person’s story emanates from familial, cultural, societal, and genetic influences. Like a snowflake, everyone’s story is different, even for people raised in similar circumstances. In our fast-paced society, people often don’t take the time or have the patience to listen to others. 

 

How often have you had someone ask you a question, only to then carry on about his or her experience? This is a common occurrence. One result is that people don’t learn about each other. They listen to themselves talk over and over. Here are some things to try to improve communication and to learn more about others and thus the world.

1.   Listen without talking to a friend. Instead of responding, ask a question about the topic at hand. Then ask another question.

2.   Even if you don’t agree with the point being made, don’t jump in with an opinion. Listen and try to fully understand the other person’s point. There will be time for talking later.

3.   People talk most freely, when they feel safe and received without judgment.  Asking relevant questions communicates to the speaker that you are listening and interested. This kind of engagement can lead to creative, productive discussion.

In the United States, people can easily be sidetracked from authentic interpersonal engagement by the seduction of materialism, money, and status. If you find yourself under stimulated or bored in the company of others, remember the words in The Naked City.

Decisions to be Made

John Kennedy looked out the window to the White House lawn. He was tense and exhausted. When the news came, the entire room erupted into cheers. The Russians and their missiles were going home.

The Cuban Missile Crisis provides a good example of effective judgment and decision-making. We make decisions every day, but why do some people make good choices and some bad?  We have all heard defendants say,” Your honor I made bad choices.” We have friends who constantly create drama through their faulty decision-making. 

President Kennedy demonstrated some of the hallmark traits of good decision-making. We can learn from him in this regard. Here they are:

1.    He was patient.He gathered all the information present before he decided to blockade Cuba.

2.    His view of reality was supported by facts and evidence. 

3.    His analytical abilities and thought process ran his emotions. He did not act impulsively.

4.    He consulted wise men.He solicited the honest opinions of cabinet members, and then he took responsibility for making his own decision. 

5.     He tolerated anxiety.

6.     He showed courage.

7.     He assessed the risks associated with his decision. 

 A good rule of thumb is that most decisions don’t need to be made on the spur of the moment. Yes, if the car next to you is burning, you have to act quickly. But more often than not, we have time before we have to choose a fork in the road. Follow President Kennedy’s example, and you will be on the right t

Politicians and Mental Health

Q:  The term “paranoid” is being tossed around a lot. Shouldn’t we all be a little paranoid in this day and age? When does it become a problem?

A:  Suspiciousness can be an adaptive trait in certain situations.  Being followed by a stranger at night probably means you should feel some anxiety and take measures to protect yourself. Solicitous phone calls promising you free trips should make you get your guard up.

However, people who suspect others of malevolence, when there is no evidence to support their claims have a problem. The more “far out” the claims, the less adaptive is the position. A typical reaction from observing parties is, “What? That makes no sense.”  Often paranoid people are projecting their own aggression onto others. Senator McCarty’s obsession with communism was a good example of this.

Q:  What are some warning signs that stress is getting too much for a politician to handle?

A:  Presidents and other world leaders are human. They can only take so much.  Nixon became very hyper-vigilant during Watergate. Paranoia in his case was maladaptive. Earlier in his career, he said to the press,” You won’t have Nixon to kick around anymore.” Such an impulsive statement didn’t serve him well.

One would wonder about the wisdom of President Trump’s campaign of tweets. To many, they seem impulsive and not well thought out. To others, they like a man, “Who is telling it like it is. ”His claim that President Obama was tapping his phones has a false ring to it. Is the President feeling the effects of strong criticism from around the country? Are his weekly trips to Florida a sign that he needs comfort and familiar surrounding to reconstitute? Is he in the process of unraveling? Is the job beyond his capacity?

Q:  What are some characteristics of narcissistic people?

A:  Narcissistic people have problems in self-esteem.  They need continuous supplies of adoration and positive feedback from others to maintain a sense of well being. They are extremely sensitive to criticism and can retaliate They can be smart and charismatic, but over time their star fades.

when they feel slighted. Paradoxically they can present themselves in grandiose ways as a way to compensate for underlying feelings of unworthiness and low self-esteem. People with these types of problems have difficulty empathizing with others. They often see others’ problems as signs of weakness. They like power and control and hate feeling helpless.

Elegance on a Plate

Here is a recipe for a special occasion. Veal Chops are expensive at restaurants. At Manhattan in La Jolla, a veal chop with vegetables costs $48.00. For half the price you can cook one at home!  They are very tasty with little fat and a lot of flavor. Below is a simple recipe that works well!

Ingredients
2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil, plus more for drizzling 2 garlic cloves, minced 1 tablespoon rosemary leaves 1/4 cup sage leaves Four 12-ounce veal rib chops, cut 1 inch thick Salt and freshly ground black pepper

The Process
Light a charcoal grill. On a platter, mix the 2 tablespoons of olive oil with the garlic, rosemary, and sage. Season the veal chops with salt and black pepper and drizzle generously with olive oil. Grill the chops over moderately high heat, turning once, about 6 minutes per side for medium. Transfer the chops to the platter and turn to coat with the olive oil and herbs. Generously drizzle the veal with olive oil and let stand for 3 minutes, turning the chops a few times. Spoon the juices and oil over the chops and serve.

From: Food and Wine

I found my chops needed more time on the grill than 6 minutes a side. I watched them, and they turned out well.