Stories from Lockdown

March 30, 2020

Del Mar, CA

 

 

 

Yesterday was a better day. I learned about zoom and connected with local and East Coast friends. Steve Valle on Cape Cod showed me his newly renovated home. Great fun. Bert Edelstein and Karen Helrich with great humor described their safety measures. It brightened up my day.

 

Earlier I had gone to practice my short game. A man stopped to chat from twenty feet and told me I could practice at the Surf Soccer fields a couple of miles away. I checked it out, but the fences around the fields were locked up. 

 

Months ago, Shelia Sharpe, a local psychologist friend, asked Vicki and me if we would give a talk to a group of Del Mar people about our trip to Pakistan in 1996. We agreed and a few weeks ago we made our presentation to thirty people in the home of a local resident. Many stories came out of that month-long excursion to the basecamp of K-2, and tomorrow I will write about some.

 

Tony Spell, the pastor of the Life Tabernacle Church in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, has been conducting services and encouraging parishioners to attend. He sends buses to pick up some members of his congregation. Recently more than 1200 people came to services.  This is how he described his decision:

 

 “This is the America we’re living in now, where people are being persecuted for their faith,” Spell said as he took the singer’s hand.”

 

A psychologist might say that the pastor’s problems with authority are putting at risk the well-being of many.

 

 

 

 

Stories from lockdown

Del Mar, CA

April 8, 2020

 

 

The Captain Crozier saga continues to unfold. My hope is that a thorough investigation will reveal who is responsible for what. Questions to be answered in my mind are:

 

How prepared was the Navy for a pandemic?

Why was the carrier sent to Vietnam?

What was the response to Captain Crozier’s initial requests for help?

Why was there not a more thorough investigation before Captain Crozier was relieved of his command?

Why did the Secretary of the Navy feel he had to immediately fly to Guam to disparage Captain Crozier and make his case? 

Why did Captain Crozier write his letter without exhausting all channels of communication to his superiors?

 

Twin Mountain, NH (continued): A few years ago, Vicki  and I visited my brother and his wife in Hancock, New Hampshire before driving two hours north to the White Mountains. We pulled off Highway 302 in Twin Mountain to view our old house. A woman saw us and walked across the street to our car. I told her our history with the town and the home, and, of course, she was Sharon’s cousin. She told us where Sharon lived, and the next day we found the house.

 

 

Sharon knew we were coming. In small New England towns, news travels with speed! We approached her hilltop house and knocked at the door. An aged woman appeared, and it was Sharon. Though many years younger than Vicki and I, she looked older. She lived with her adult daughter, who worked at a nearby hotel, and her unemployed son-in-law. 

 

I asked about her family while gazing at her cluttered home. Brenda and Larry had died of cancer. Ray had disappeared in Littleton, ten miles away, where he spent his time alone. Lorraine and Michael, like Sharon were on disability and lived close by.

 

So how do people of promise end up dying young or on disability? It is a complex issue but certainly life in rural, northern New Hampshire is not easy. The winters are cold and long. Work is scarce and opportunities few. As I drove away from Sharon’s home, I tried to make sense of it. 

Stories from lockdown

March 24,2020

Del Mar, CA

 

It is a sunny day in Southern California, but the city of San Diego remains a ghost town. Parks and beaches are closed, malls are asleep, and the sound of clinking glasses in local bars has long gone.

 

Yesterday we attended senior hours at Ralphs, our go-to grocery store in Del Mar. There was a line of “young people” waiting to get in at 8;00 AM, but at 7:30 the old folks had the run of the store. I walked to the designated entrance and almost immediately a beefy employee started yelling at me. I finally figured how what he was saying and complied. Then he yelled again, telling me to get 6 feet from a person. Mistake. Golfers know zero to ten feet like the back of our hands. I told him ,” no, I was at 6 feet.” He went silent.

 

Our tip through the aisles was surreal. Usually, Ralphs is a happy place with people buying goodies they anticipate devouring with relish! Not so yesterday. The place had a zombie feel with masked seniors warily walking around the store. In wartime, people bond against a common, visible enemy. Now one’s fellow citizens have to be treated as the enemy. Very weird! 

 

At the checkout line, the cash register lady was crying. Since her work station was adjacent to the beefy bully, I assumed he had been at it again, but I may have been wrong. We smiled and were nice to her, but she remained upset. 

 

The Governor has directed people to stay home as of last week. When the notice came, I stopped playing golf. Most of the courses immediately closed, if they hadn’t before. The course I play on Mondays stayed open. That Sunday the sheriff showed up and closed it down. The place had been packed all weekend. Go figure!

 

 

 

Stories from Lockdown

November 13,2020

Del Mar, Ca.

 

 

He sped down the left side of the rink. The opponents had trouble getting at the puck which was stretched out to his right. Suddenly Jack Phelan, who was later to captain the Dartmouth Hockey team, cut across the center of the ice, fired at the right side of the net, and scored. This set-in motion a major frustration by the best player on the other team. He threw gloves, yelled, and tried to push some of our players around to no avail. 

 

 

This high school player’s tantrum revealed several things about him. First, he needed to learn some self-control and frustration tolerance. Secondly, his behavior seemed to reveal a strong underlying sense of entitlement. Think about it. He must have assumed he should have been winning. This attitude persisted throughout the game, though it should have been obvious to players and fans alike that our team was superior. The lopsided score should have been a tip-off to the disgruntled player.

 

Trump can’t accept defeat. He clearly feels entitled to win. He is too self-focused to look at the data and draw realistic conclusions. He did a poor job, and the voters saw this. Had he taken his job more seriously and applied himself in a serious way, he might have won. Like the hockey player, he felt he should win, even if the other side scored more goals.

 

 It may well be that Trump in his early life didn’t get the care he was entitled to. That dynamic may be playing itself out in his adult life. Most children outgrow their perception that they are the center of the universe and learn that they must earn their “riches”. Has Trump?

 

 

Stories from lockdown

March 25, 2020

Del Mar, CA

 

Yesterday I followed my new routine. I watched Andree Martin, the golf pro at our club, give her webinar at 8:00 AM. Her instruction mirrors that of my golf instructor, professional Clark Renner. Inspired, I later went to a nearby school field and practiced chipping and pitching.

 

The field borders a large state preserve that overlooks the Pacific. Hiking trails wind throughout this area giving walkers excellent views. Over the years I have logged many miles on these trails. Often, I would never see another person on them. In recent years with an increasing local population and an obsession with physical fitness in Sothern California, the trails have become busier. With the gyms and beaches on hold now, hikers are all over the area. 

 

On Nextdoor, the internet site that connects neighborhoods, some people are upset. Calling the recent hikers, “newbies”, these people complain the hikers lack etiquette on the trails amongst other things. I guess it is human nature like squatters’ rights. If you stay somewhere long enough you begin to feel it is yours.

 

This sense of entitlement extends to the ocean. People who grow up in the area become used to better surfing spots. Eventually, they begin to use the word “our” when describing the spots. There have been numerous criminal and civil complaints over the years resulting from locals accosting “invading newbies”. 

 

I have been watching the Netflix series, “Unbelievable.” It is excellent. Kaitlyn Dever as Marie is outstanding as a young woman who finds her way through the foster care system and is being raped once she is on her own. Her portrayal of a trauma victim is educational though disturbing. Merritt Wever is memorable as Detective Karen Duvall.

 

 

 

Stories from Lockdown

December 3, 2020

Del Mar, CA

 

Ball Hawkers

 

 

They are not hard to pick out on the course. Most players, either cluster around the tee box or walk or drive straight to their ball. Not ball hawkers. These men and women are driven to find lost golf balls, which they equate to hidden treasure. Like the people on the beach with metal scanners, a true hawker “must” search. You’ll see them walking along the cart path scanning brush, looking into ponds, and walking through tall rough.

 

Need has nothing to do with the pastime of ball-hawking. I have several hundred left in my garage. At one time I probably had a couple of thousand, but I try to practice “catch and release” by giving away as many balls as I can. 

 

So how did we accumulate so much “treasure”?  My friend, Terry, lived next to a desert golf course and would frequently hunt during off-hours. I took lessons at a small course with a creek running through it. The route to the creek was downhill and difficult. The retirees wouldn’t go down the bank. On a good day, I might find 60 golf balls. 

 

Like any treasure, some items are more valued than others. Titleist Pro V 1 balls, which sell new for $4.00 a piece, are valued, of course. But we all have our favorites, which sometimes defy logic. I like Srixon balls though I couldn’t tell you why other than they have a cool name. Vicki likes yellow balls, which are easy to see. The difference between golf balls is probably minimal, but the marketing men want you to believe otherwise.

 

Is ball-hawking dangerous? It can be. Terry always carried a club to ward off rattlesnakes. I fell in a pond once and numerous times took a spill going down the river bank. Often my clothes would get torn on a mission. 

 

Besides saving money on golf balls, the  Indiana Jones experience is hard to beat. The thrill of finding a shiny new ball can sometimes outweigh the effects of a double bogey!

 

 

Stories from Lockdown

November 23, 2020

Del Mar, CA

 

What we have missed

 

So much has been written about Trump’s pettiness, vengeful nature, and incompetence, that it is easy to lose sight of some of the intangibles of leadership. November 22, the anniversary of President Kennedy’s death,  stimulated me to think about this topic.

 

Part of the Kennedy appeal was that he was handsome, had a beautiful wife and family, and was intelligent and witty. He was charismatic, and people were drawn to him, wherever he went.  He took Ireland by storm, De Gaulle and his countrymen loved Jackie, and JFK’s speech in Berlin with his famous phrase, “Ich ben ein Berliner”, captured the hearts of the German people. 

 

Was it all show and fluff? No, John Kennedy was shrewd and keenly political, but he also had paid his dues. Like John McCain, he was a genuine war hero. He saved the crew of his PT boat and personally risked his life during a perilous mission. 

 

He campaigned hard, and his love of people showed. He didn’t manipulate his base. He cultivated it through persuasion and person to person contact. He could talk to anyone from a maintenance man to a CEO.

 

Kennedy inspired people by appealing to their heroic nature. Work hard to make the country better. Serve others. These were his mantras. The “New Frontier” perfectly captured his sense of forward movement and progress. He put forth a vision that had emanated from his family’s experience of being immigrants, outsiders, and then power brokers.

 

Kennedy had style and class. He brought artists to the White House to perform. He held elegant state dinners. He made us proud to be Americans. At the same time he wasn’t pretentious. He liked spending time as much with his Irish cronies from Boston as he did with Harvard intellectuals like Dean Rusk and Kenneth Galbreath. 

 

I suppose you can’t hide who you are. The famous psychologist, Gordon Allport, said one’s attitudes and values poured out in how you dressed, talked, and behaved. John Kennedy was a kind, responsible, brave man. These characteristics shown through and were part of his appeal. 

 

Kennedy was not a petty man. He had suffered many losses, was frequently in physical pain, and embraced challenge and hard work. His press conferences revealed much about his person. He once remarked that he didn’t always like dealing with the questions the press threw at him, but he recognized how important they were to the democratic process. His dry sense of humor and ability to poke fun at himself endeared him to the cynical Washington Press Corps. When he died, Walter Cronkite wept on live television, and he spoke for all of us. 

 

 

 

 

 

Stories from Lockdown

September 18, 2020

Del Mar, CA

 

Pandemic Days

 

 

Apple Support is my new BFF. Some weeks ago, my iPhone filled up. The fix was easy. Remove some music, which takes up a lot of space. Problem solved.  Recently I was having problems with photos. It slowed to molasses. I called support. The lady at Apple had me reset NVRAM. I didn’t know what that was all about, but I did as I was directed, pushing this key and that. Whamo, my computer reacted like a car that suddenly was using 8 instead of 4 cylinders! Not only did the photos section speed up, but the whole computer did. I thanked her and later wrote a positive review.

 

 

Borgen on Netflix continues to be a fascinating show with superb acting and writing. It is a series about politics in Denmark and the effect that political life has on participants. The show is complex, compelling, and interesting. It seems timely in terms of the situation currently unfolding in the United States.

 

 

I stumbled on a book called, “Notes on a Silencing.” Written by a woman about her time at St. Paul’s Prep School in New Hampshire, it caught my attention, since I had gone to a similar school in Massachusetts. Lucy Crawford is an excellent writer, and her book has a “ Catcher in the Rye” feel to it. I frequently find myself rereading a sentence as its artistry captures me.

 

 

We had friends over for a patio get together yesterday afternoon. As was inevitable, the conversation eventually drifted to Trump and the state of the government. All of us find it hard to understand how people can support Trump. I can see getting on a different bus that will take you to a destination that is different from mine. But when your driver is an unlicensed, erratic person with a history of traffic accidents, why would anyone get on such a bus?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Stories from Lockdown

June 30, 2020

Del Mar, CA

 

Pandemic Notes

 

  

 

 

Press: President Trump has information about Russia’s bounty on American soldiers long ago. Why did he not address that issue?

 

Barbie: The President is a busy man. As you know, he is not a reader. He has golf to play, tweets to tweet, and payback schemes to plan.

 

                                                                              

And so, it goes in the White House and out on the streets with Karens and Kens. On the local front, the raccoon catcher came today and set traps. Signs of the animals are all over our backyard. The abundant rainfall in the last couple of years has provided an ample food source for the animals, and they are flourishing in San Diego County. As soon as we see one in a trap, we can call the catcher, and he’ll be on his way.

 

 

 

Today we met Lou and Elinor Mone at Mimmo’s a restaurant in Little Italy. Our outdoor seating was very private, and we all enjoyed an excellent lunch of calamari fritti followed by eggplant and Italian subs. The bread was homemade and the ingredients fresh. For dessert, Vicki and I shared a wonderful cannoli. The Mones have experienced a number of recent health problems, but they are resilient, gracious people, who have great senses of humor and loving hearts. We will rendezvous again soon.

 

 

                                                                                    
                                                                                     

 

 

 

Stories from Lockdown

Del Mar, CA

July 13. 2020

 

Notes from the Pandemic

 

 

The days run into each other here, one after another. Darkness, light, darkness light. Morphing and merging. Saturday is Tuesday and Tuesday is Sunday in the Pandemic for retired people. But, you know, it isn’t so bad!

 

I play golf most days, swim laps the others, see friends in outdoor venues, and try to engage in creative activities. Whereas in the past I might have looked forward to an exciting trip, now I wonder what we’ll cook for dinner! Though we live in an urbanized suburb, it feels like we are out in the country. Life is simpler.

 

I try to be cautious, limiting my social interactions, wearing a mask, and using good judgment. However, I can’t help but wonder if a stray bullet is going to get me. If I don’t feel well some days, I jump to,” Has COVID made an appearance.” Like soldiers, we all wonder if our time has come. That part of the pandemic is not so great.

 

                                                                           

 

Like most people, we have been cooking more. I grew up eating breaded cutlets, a favorite dish. Why it took a pandemic to get me to cook them, I don’t know. They are easy to make and very tasty. I make them with veal, pork, or chicken. Here is a recipe.

 

Buy a package with 4 or 5 thin cutlets. Pound them with a wooden cooking mallet to thin them out. On one plate, break and stir an egg. On another, pour in some Italian seasoned bread crumbs.  To the crumbs, I add additional salt, pepper, seasoned salt, basil, and a little garlic salt. I then add some grated cheese. Use parmesan or try grating some sharp cheddar into the bread crumbs. I also add some white vinegar to the egg.

 

                                                                    

 

While you are preparing the bread crumb mix, have a large frying pan on high heat with Extra Virgin olive oil covering the bottom of the pan. Dip the cutlets into the egg mix and then run it through the bread crumb mix. Make sure the cutlets are fully covered. Drop them in the pan and fry them, turning the cutlets often. They don’t take long to cook.

 

Stories from Lockdown

July 14, 2020

Del Mar, CA

 

 

Notes from the Pandemic

                                                  

 

Before the pandemic, retail shopping was undergoing a change largely due to the Internet. As the country locked down, Amazon boomed. I live in a small neighborhood, and suddenly Amazon vans were everywhere. Did they come to our house? Of course, on a regular basis. 

 

Amazon promotes laziness I suppose. It has been a rare time when  I haven’t been able to find an item on Amazon that I wanted to buy. Recently I was ready to go to the hardware store to buy some lawn fertilizer. I thought, I wonder? Sure enough, it was delivered by Bezos’s guys within a couple of days. Oil-based tuna? No problem. We buy it by the case from Amazon.

                                                                                        

 

         

 

Free shipping for Prime members makes a difference. I often buy golf gear from Amazon because of the lack of shipping costs makes it less expensive than ordering from golf websites. And it saves gas!

 

The downside in some ways is that it keeps us home,  and reduces competition and the diversity of shopping possibilities. But it is an evolution that was bound to happen. Other companies like Zappos,  L.L. Bean, and Patagonia have also flourished since the arrival of the Internet, but none as much as the Bezos place.

 

 

Here is another recipe that I created. It has played well amongst friends in California. It is a different way to make a guacamole dip.

 

Guacamole Italian Style

 

 

                                                                                

 

 

Mash some avocados in a bowl. Leave the mix chunky

Add chopped tomatoes and chopped white onion

Add juice from a fresh lemon

Add a little white vinegar

Add salt,  basil, pepper, seasoned salt, and garlic salt.

Mix well

Serve with robust chips

 

 

 

 

 

 

Stories from Lockdown

June 22, 2020

Del Mar, CA

 

 

Travel’s Moments

 

 

Everyone has to figure out what they are looking for when they travel. It often takes some trips to know what is personally meaningful in the world of travel. There are a lot of visitor choices to make such as outdoor activities, museums, churches, scenery, historic landmarks, and cities.

 

Our trips evolved as follows. Typically, we would do a hiking trip organized by MT. Travel/Sobek. We would hike with a group for a week or ten days in the Dolomites, Alps, or Pyrenes. Following the organized part of the trip, Vicki and I would often go to a city or country town in a mountainous area. The organized trips took us to areas we could never find on our own, and I loved them, but I also enjoyed discovering areas through our own explorations. Here are some examples.

                                                                                    

 

Ticino

On the tip of a fellow traveler, we booked a stay at a beautiful hotel on Lake Maggiore after a hiking trip in Switzerland. In the mornings we swam, had breakfast, and then walked through some fields by the lake into the local town, Ascona. This little lakeside village was quaint and peaceful. Our routine was to have espresso, read the paper, and watch the boats and people go by. It was a moment of quietude and beauty.

Zermatt

 

Zum Zee

 

We took a cable car up to Plateau Rosa from Zermatt with friends Fred Blumenstein and Laura Rafal. We decided to walk several hours it would take to descend to the town and our hotel. Our journey took us through fields of wildflowers and past cows with large bells that rang under the alpine sun. Partway down we came to a small village, Zum Zee, that was very scenic. Fred remarked that it was like walking from one postcard to another. At Zum Zee, we had homemade apple strudel and fresh milk. We didn’t want to leave.

 

                                                                                    

Zermatt

 

(to be continued)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Stories from Lockdown

May 27, 2020

Del Mar, CA

 

 

Back in the Zone

 

                                                                                  

 

 

Today I spent some zone time. Unfortunately, it wasn’t my zone.  Vicki and I played golf with Rob Schannon, a retired psychiatrist from Kaiser Permanente. If he didn’t make a putt, he was close. His stroke was smooth and effortless, and his speeds and lines were good. He couldn’t miss. He was in the zone.

 

                                                        

 

 

Years ago, when I taught at CSPP, I sometimes would find the zone. Zones I think go hand in hand with creativity, and this was so in my case. If I felt secure and engaged with the class, I discovered a phenomenon. Student questions seemed to slow down and drift across the room. By the time one reached me, I had several responses at the ready. I could use humor, go Socratic, or move in other directions. Such times were fun and effortless. I was in the zone.

 

                                                                            

 

Steph Curry of the Golden Steph Warriors is a zone guy. Watch him. When he moves to the basket, he doesn’t know what he is going to do. He creates as he goes. It is as if he is on another frequency than the other players on the floor. 

 

                                                                                        

 

Listen to Take Five by Dave Brubeck. If that isn’t zone work, I don’t know what is. Create, improvise and create and improvise. Jazz in the zone! Torvill and Dean, the famous English ice dancers, who won Olympic gold in Sarajevo in 1984 were residents of the zone. They flowed across the ice and seemed to surpass human limitations. The created magic in the moment.

 

 

Guacamole Italian Style

 

                                                                 

 

Mash some avocados in a bowl. Leave the mix chunky

Add chopped tomatoes and chopped white onion

Add juice from a fresh lemon

Add a little white vinegar

Add salt, pepper, seasoned salt, and garlic salt.

Serve with robust chips from Whole Foods

 

 

 

 

Stories from lockdown

June 21, 2020

Del Mar, CA.

 

 

Pandemic Notes

 

                                                                                

Boston

 

The pandemic has been a terrible experience across the world. The loss of like has been devastating. Economies have plunged. People have suffered in so many ways. Have there been any positives?

 

Each person has to evaluate the above question for themselves. I have found people reaching out more than in the past. Life became less certain for a time, and I have to wonder if some of the petty issues that keep people apart didn’t fall by the wayside. People connecting seemed more important than ever. 

 

                                                                                

Positano

We spent more time at home, and that was good. There was less running around and more focus on the simpler aspects of living. We spent more time planning for meals, shopping for food, and resting. A less complex life felt strange but satisfying and meaningful. It was fun to enjoy my home and yard. Once I started playing golf again, life seemed to flow and be natural, though I was doing less than usual.

                                                                                    

Sorrento

 

Politically things shifted. New heroes emerged in the form of both Republican and Democratic governors. Who couldn’t be captivated by Andrew Cuomo or not admire Governors Newsome and Baker? On the other hand, the callousness of 45 and his cohorts became ever more evident. If crisis defined Churchill, it further exposed Trump’s ineptitude, administrative incompetence, and inability to feel for others.

 

                                                                            

Venice

                                                                                

 

I belong to ten or so Facebook Photography pages. You post and people may or may not react and comment. It is a nice way to learn. Many of the members are professional photographers, and everyone is supportive. One man suggested I do street scenes in black and white. I did, and that is what I do now. It is interesting that some of my more “popular” photos are not my favorites. The sites help you define your photographic voice.