School Fears

“ Mom, I don’t want to go to school!” are words many parents have heard for generations.  Often a few words of encouragement are all that are necessary to move the young person toward the door. However, some children dig in and become determined to stay home.

The reasons for resistance to school are varied. It is important for parents to figure out best they can what is frightening their child. Some possibilities are teacher-child conflict, bullying, a learning disability, vision or hearing problems, or separation anxiety. Problems with other children or the teacher can be managed through environmental manipulation.  The school psychologist can evaluate suspected learning disabilities. Anxiety over separation form a primary parent calls for a different approach.

Sometimes it doesn’t take a lot to get a child back to school.  The younger the child the more normal is anxiety about going to school. Here are some strategies to try to help a child feel comfortable enough to go to school. If the child’s anxiety persists, then parents may want to consult a psychologist.

1. Talk with the school counselor and see if that person can find some ways of helping a child feel more comfortable in school.
2. Consult with the teacher and encourage her to develop creative strategies for helping the child feel more a part of the class. For example a special role in the classroom may boost confidence and make school feel more meaningful.
3. Sometimes children like a parent to walk them to the classroom.
4. Children may feel calmed by having a picture of a parent with them in school.
5. Some children like to call their parent during lunch.  If the school can be flexible, this strategy can often help.
6. Reading bedtimes stories about children who overcome adversity can also help some children.
7. Rewards for attendance, such as a lunch on the weekend with a parent can be psychologically salient.
8. Before the beginning of the school year walk around the school grounds, and if possible within the school, so the child has a sense of familiarity with the environment.