Good Boundaries; Good Families

Families work best, when there is structure, consistency, and predictability. Expectations and roles are clear. Family members respect each other’s space and privacy, and people feel free to express what they think and feel.

Parents that are too rigid and without humor can create an atmosphere of fear characterized by deceit and secret behaviors. Environments that are too lenient can bring chaos and anxiety.

Keeping good boundaries isn’t always easy and demands creativity from time to time. Here are some examples of creative boundary setting.

1. A mother put some yellow police tape around a space in a room, when she spoke on the phone. Its function was to give her a private area in which she could talk. Kids often relate to visuals more than words.
2. Kids were grabbing their parents and siblings too much. The parents employed the concept of an invisible “force field” to playfully establish protection form intrusive hands.
3. A mother set a timer outside a child’s room. When it rang, time out was over. The responsibility for the ending time out then became that of the timer. It took the mother out of the equation, and eventually stopped verbal complaints from the child.
4. A child was upset, when his parents came in his room without knocking. The parents were able to see his point and changed their behavior,
5. Prior to going on a family vacation, each child took responsibility for planning one day of the vacation. They did research and worked within the financial parameters the parents had given them.

These are only a few examples of what is possible, when parents are flexible and open to change and experimentation.