Holidays; Do they make us Happy?

We are supposed to be happy over the holidays.  After all Santa is jovial, bright colors are everywhere, gifts are being exchanged, and Christmas and New Year’s parties are omnipresent. People say, “Merry Christmas” and “Happy New Year”, not “Depressed New Year”. Even Scrooge comes around in the end. So why is it that so many adults have trouble getting through the holidays without feeling down, depressed, sad, and lonely?

Part of the problem is that adults are the administrators of Christmas and not the beneficiaries as they were in their childhoods. Past a certain age Christmas can never be the same again for many people. The wonder of waking up to presents, a beautiful tree, and a warm fire (if you live in New England!) is now replaced by frantically shopping for preferred gifts, paying bills, and trying to juggle work with holiday obligations.  Thoughts back to an idealized time can bring the experience of painful nostalgia accompanied by sadness and loneliness.

The New Year in some ways brings the promise of better things to come, but it also conjures up feeling about past failed expectations and disappointments. It highlights the passage of time and the brevity of life.  Alcohol at such times becomes a celebratory lubricant in addition to one that attempts to bypass sorrows.

Here are some tips to help with managing the holidays.

1. Don’t expect too much.
2. Try to figure out what you want and not what the marketers tell you to want. It is OK to stay home on New Year’s Eve and go to bed at 10:00 P.M.
3. Go easy on the alcohol. It is a depressant.
4. You don’t have to spend a lot of money.
5. Keep working out.
6. Establish traditions with you own family and group of friends.
7. Remember those who have gone.
8. Setting goals for the New Year is a good idea, but they need to be realistic. Set them in three-month intervals at which times they can be reviewed and revised.
9. Be kind and generous to others. It is the holiday spirit that is important.