Vacationing with Companions

Vacations for most people are highly valued times to be savored and enjoyed. This is particularly so in the United States, where vacation time is limited in comparison to other industrialized nations.  There is often a pull to vacation with friends and family members. Costs can be reduced, the idea of shared fun is attractive, and others bring new kinds of stimulation to the table.

However, before you go on vacation with friends or family, you need to ask yourself a number of questions. Too often people travel with underlying assumptions, which may or may not be true. It is important to get clear before a trip what one’s expectations are. For example:

1.    Do others share your views about spending money?

2.    Do people want to do the same activities.

3.    Do people begin the day at the same time?

4.    Do people want to meet others on the vacation and spend time with them?

5.    Do people want to cook or go out?

These are only a few of the questions that need to be asked. Over the years I have learned that on ski trips, I need to make it clear to accompanying friends that I am on the lift at 8:30.  I have had friends who made the assumption that on a vacation everyone will want to “sleep in.”

Probably the best model for vacationing with others is one that incorporates everyone’s wishes. Making the wishes explicit on the front end is crucial. There have to be open discussions. Once it is clear what people want, then plans can be made for individual and joint ventures  that meet peoples’ needs. Such a strategy reduces conflict and allows everyone to be heard.