Questions for the psychologist: Hey Doc

Q:  My husband wants to go to bars with some of his female colleagues from work. I don’t feel comfortable with this. What should I do?

A:  Make an assessment of your marriage.  Are you and your husband spending time together? How is the communication between the two of you? Have a lengthy conversation with him about his contentment in the marriage.  Share your thoughts and feelings about your relationship. That is a good starting point.

Q:  My 14 year old daughter’s teacher has given her a couple of gifts. He sends her texts a few times a day. She spends time with him in the classroom a couple of days a week. Should I be worried?

 A:  Perhaps you should talk with the teacher and ask him to stop the texts. Tell him you expect him to keep good boundaries in his professional role. Tell him you feel presents are inappropriate. Talk with your daughter also. If the teacher’s behavior continues to be inappropriate, you should talk with the principal.

Q:  I am a forty-year-old housewife. My mother died two months ago, and I find myself down a lot. I cry frequently. I tell myself to snap out of it. What should I do?

A: Grief is the natural reaction to loss. It is helpful to talk about your feelings to people you trust. You might consider a grief group, if one is available. Hospitals often offer such groups. If you continue to feel depressed, consider consulting a mental health professional. Also take care of yourself: eat well, exercise, and see friends.

Q:  My twelve-year old is a good student and a good athlete. He likes to stay home and isn’t interested in being with friends on the weekends. He is on a team and in band. How can I get him to be more social?

A:  It sounds like your son is doing well. He gets a lot of social contact with his team and with band. Perhaps he needs time to grow into himself. If you push too much, he may have to rebel to preserve his autonomy. He could begin to shut down his performance or get depressed. Give him some space, particularly, if he is OK with his life at this point.