Therapists have known for a long time that a neutral stance with patients is important. You might rightfully ask why? Shouldn't the therapist be him or herself? They shouldn't because people recreate their histories on a daily basis. Patients tend to shape their therapists into the mothers and fathers with whom they had problems. By staying neutral therapists have a chance to help their patients see the distortions in their thinking. Like a Rorschach card, the therapist becomes the person the patient's past experience dictates who the therapist will be. The therapist can then help the patient understand the distortion and where it came from.
The same thing can happen on an international level. The information flow in and out of North Korea had been minimal for a long time. The leadership through projection has distorted ideas about our country. The trick is not to feed into their thinking. Be firm and draw lines, but don't carry on in a way that "fulfills " the distortions of the North Koreans. Nothing is gained. It feels good to express strong emotion, but I think most experienced diplomats would favor carefully worded language that gets the point across but doesn't fan the flames.
Mr. Trump's language almost mimicked that of the North Korean leader. It was if they were playing dueling threats. Sometimes when teenagers keep making threats, they have to fight, even if they don't want to. People and countries with real strength draw lines and don't provoke others.
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