Many teachers, parents, and others trying to impart information have trouble getting beyond stony silence from their students. Why is this? Is it a motivation question or something else? Often it is the latter.
If you watch some parents talk to their children that is often what you see. They talk to and not with their children. Too often people in charge lecture and criticize. If you see a quiet classroom, most likely the teacher isn't very interested in what his or her students have to say.
For stymied teachers and parents I would recommend several episodes of the old Columbo show, starring Peter Faulk. The reader may be thinking, "What, are you nuts?" Let me explain.
Columbo was a master communication strategist. He knew that accusations put people on the defensive and made them clam up. His style was to play dumb and place the problem within himself while asking his suspect to help him solve it. For example, he might say," I have a problem. Can you help me solve it? I am confused about a couple of things. You said you were here, but your wife says you were there. I just don't understand."
Using this model a parent might say," I am confused. You have told me that you want to go to Stanford, but I never see you do homework. How does that work? You seem to be going in the opposite direction you have told me many times you want to go in. Help me understand this."
In the classroom teachers who ask more questions in a curious way will have a livelier classroom. Statements like, " That is an interesting point that seems important. Elaborate on it so I can understand it," will excite and motivate students. Make the students the teachers and see what happens!
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